Avoidance behavior? I'm not sure...but suffice to say living under the duress that I have been... I am simply aware that some things just take too much mind power to handle without help and I'll avoid those things like a deadly disease...call it avoidance if you must...I look at more like survival in desperate times...I won't whine about the gory details...by trail and error, I've come to realize forcing even simple issues could cause me to come clear apart...and folks that ain't purdy. I know, I know....this all probably has a clinical diagnosis and you might think I should seek medical care and treatment...BUT listen I'VE GOT THE CURE..its this place I go, one that is not in my head for those of you already diagnosing me....Fact is, in the winter I take off for there a few times a week even when I got-it-all-together...But when I can't or won't tackle the things that weigh me down...I retreat to a mountain top about 30 minutes from my front door. A sweet steep little ski hill, a place that brings me peace of mind...OK...and I love the rush that comes with it too. So, yesterday, blanketed by the angst I was feeling from my daughter moving out I knew there was no better place for me...so without a second thought I jumped into my already packed car, leaving much undone, to find solace. Truth be told, I have not skied very well all year...until yesterday...it was like I was on a mission...and I was on fire. Everything came so easily... I could see a line and I could look downhill past it. When I turned my skis loose... I did not have a care in the world, no more tears to cry, no more knot in my stomach, no more lump in my throat or babbling words to come out of my mouth. Up there on top of the world, I can forget, not for long... but for a while I can be part of thee enormity that is the mountain...and for a time there is nothing bigger in my life. I must sound out-of-my-mind...but it truly is a rejuvenating experience for me... sometimes I think its as much the place as what I do there that gives me renewed mental and physical stamina. In the Spring, Summer and Fall I find other outlets...but not nearly as effective and healing as my winter get away place...so as long as there is snow I'll go on good days and especially bad. errr...feeling like I did today...I hope nobody needs anything from me for a while because I don't think I'll be around. I think...I'll be 30 minutes outta town running down some natural stress therapy.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Natural Stress Therapy
Avoidance behavior? I'm not sure...but suffice to say living under the duress that I have been... I am simply aware that some things just take too much mind power to handle without help and I'll avoid those things like a deadly disease...call it avoidance if you must...I look at more like survival in desperate times...I won't whine about the gory details...by trail and error, I've come to realize forcing even simple issues could cause me to come clear apart...and folks that ain't purdy. I know, I know....this all probably has a clinical diagnosis and you might think I should seek medical care and treatment...BUT listen I'VE GOT THE CURE..its this place I go, one that is not in my head for those of you already diagnosing me....Fact is, in the winter I take off for there a few times a week even when I got-it-all-together...But when I can't or won't tackle the things that weigh me down...I retreat to a mountain top about 30 minutes from my front door. A sweet steep little ski hill, a place that brings me peace of mind...OK...and I love the rush that comes with it too. So, yesterday, blanketed by the angst I was feeling from my daughter moving out I knew there was no better place for me...so without a second thought I jumped into my already packed car, leaving much undone, to find solace. Truth be told, I have not skied very well all year...until yesterday...it was like I was on a mission...and I was on fire. Everything came so easily... I could see a line and I could look downhill past it. When I turned my skis loose... I did not have a care in the world, no more tears to cry, no more knot in my stomach, no more lump in my throat or babbling words to come out of my mouth. Up there on top of the world, I can forget, not for long... but for a while I can be part of thee enormity that is the mountain...and for a time there is nothing bigger in my life. I must sound out-of-my-mind...but it truly is a rejuvenating experience for me... sometimes I think its as much the place as what I do there that gives me renewed mental and physical stamina. In the Spring, Summer and Fall I find other outlets...but not nearly as effective and healing as my winter get away place...so as long as there is snow I'll go on good days and especially bad. errr...feeling like I did today...I hope nobody needs anything from me for a while because I don't think I'll be around. I think...I'll be 30 minutes outta town running down some natural stress therapy.
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Oh no. There is nothing wrong with how you are dealing with your crisis. For me, it's my garden. It's not avoidance, it's the place I go for peace when things get to be too much. After hours in my garden feeling something solid....tangible...in my hands...seeing the results of my work and having it be good....erases all the intangible for a while. Things I can't control. Things I mess up. For that moment, I feel like I can handle things.
ReplyDeleteI know what you are talking about friend....
Im so glad you have a place to go and escape too(your happy place):). YOU are an amazing woman and mother...you are not out of your mind!
ReplyDeleteI pray the snow hangs out on your mountain top for you.
I think I find my peace at the gym on my spin bike..crazy huh!!
That's a much better way than my method of curling up into a ball and crying.....
ReplyDeleteYour daughter moved out? Why didn't she just get a knife and stab you in the gut? That might have been less painful. I dread the day my boys move out. My oldest turns 9 in a couple of weeks...which means he's half way to moving out and going to college. *insert sobs*
Hope your spirits are raised soon.
*smooches™
Sometimes we need to get out of our minds and into our bodies (and spirits). Good for you.
ReplyDeleteHow luck you are that you can get away and ski away your troubles. I'm glad you had a good day.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl. I will even pray for snow - and I don't do that very often. Holy cow, I did not know that change was afoot in your house - I knew it was a possibility, but did not know the reality. If you need a buddy to talk to, be sure and ring my phone! I promise to listen, laugh and cry right along with you my friend.
ReplyDeleteHugs!!!!!
Absoluely breathtaking and I am starting a Free Therapy Blog Hop with my sis this Friday! Talk about stress relief! I totally agree! It is why I love winter and why I love skiing. I ski hard and it so helps! I tore up my thumb on our last ski trip and my OS told me it was not a good idea to ski and if I did to ski with a brace. I opted to ski this weekend with neither, but to ski again hard and fast because there is no better stress relief! So glad you stopped by from Post It Note Tuesday! Karma I guess!
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