Embracing Change Part Two

I have mentioned before I am a midwife…..however I am not presently practicing. Even so, I am approached weekly for midwifery care. Just as I knew it would be… turning families down is very difficult. There has been a lot of confusion regarding my decision. I have not quit, I can not quit…not anymore then I can quit breathing. I am a midwife and I can not and do not want to change or stop that actuality. I was fraught with guilt regarding the decision to cut back and then to completely take time off. I realize this decision affects more then just me…and I am not a selfish person. I am prayerfully driven and I know that stepping away from midwifery is the right thing to do. Despite the popular belief to the contrary, the right thing is usually the harder thing… I’ve written about the path of less resistance before…and it’s a well known fact at least in my world the easier path is not always the right path. The world is full of people… like a herd of sheep… following each other around doing and saying the same things…embracing the status quo and marching off a cliff one right after the other. I am not that person. I have made some unpopular decisions in my lifetime; I have personally pioneered ground that no one I am acquainted with has ever explored. My brain is hardwired to meticulously think things through…and not necessarily to follow the trend or herd. So when recent legislation was passed in my state regarding midwifery I had to reevaluate how that would affect me and my future ability to care for families. I was already being pulled to be more present for my children and to scale back my midwifery clientele when the licensure issue sealed the deal… I would be stepping down for a while. My heart was heavy for weeks and months as I realized what a debacle a handful of midwives created. I am alarmed at my sister midwives lack of regard…for not seeing the whole picture…for not ensuring the availability of a midwife for all…for not taking the higher and harder path…for not doing the right thing. I am not opposed to accountability, regulation or licensure… I am opposed to this license. Midwives and consumers walked circles around the original intent and settled… they just plain settled…swooped off their feet and over the cliffs edge like a bunch of sheep. So I am open to reinventing myself…embracing change…see my post from Monday, September 21, 2009.