Veritable Quandary

I was quite intrigued by the name of this restaurant, Veritable Quandary. Veritable means real or authentic while quandary means a state of uncertainty. So a real sense of confusion. It must mean something to the owner/operator because from the moment you step foot inside the doors you will quickly realize its not a restaurant but rather a dining experience that shows no sign of confusion when it comes to the food, spirits and atmosphere.


Veritable Quandary is "Located above the scenic Waterfront Park and offers a relaxed fine dining experience amidst an atmosphere of old Portland charm. Chef Annie Cuggino’s daily changing menu takes full advantage of the local, farm-fresh products of the Northwest while utilizing culinary influences from around the world. Their legendary bar is always lively and inviting, while the exquisite garden patio overlooking the historic Hawthorne Bridge is truly a dining oasis in the heart of the city."

Me with my camera close this time I could not resist taking pictures of our evening meal. Who doesn't love dessert frist!

Fresh Oregon Strawberries tossed in Aged Balsamic Vinegar,
Cracked Black Pepper, topped with whipped Marscarpone & Honey

Turtle Truffles

TIRAMISU

Chocolate Espresso Sauce & Cracked Whole Coffee Beans

Seared Petite Lamb Chops With Balsamic Reduction
with artichoke hearts resting atop Goat Cheese Phyllo Triangle

Pork Tenderloin with Balsamic & Honey Glaze

served with Spicy Black Eyed Peas, Bacon & Swiss Chard

Cioppino
Seafood Stew, Mussels, Clams, Prawns, Calamari & Fish
fresh tomato & wine broth

Fettuccine with Prawns, Local Asparagus, Pea Shoots,

Chile Flake, Lemon Zest & Garlic Crumbs

Duck Confit Spring Roll with Wasabi Ginger

Everybody's Brewing Country Boy IPA & Hales Dublin Style Cream Stout

I had great food and drinks all over Portland....a big shout out to Stumptown Coffee Roasters for my morning Americano's with honey and cream. Kenny & Zuke's Delicatessen for Stuffed Crepes with Fresh Fruit Compote & Sour Cream one day and Eggs Benedict with mushrooms and caramelized onions the next. Kenny & Zukes also served the best latkes with applesauce and sour cream...oh and amazing mimosa with fresh squeezed juice. Least I not forget Wild Abandon Restaurant & The Red Velvet Lounge where I had local red wine and Black Angus Ribeye Steak grilled medium rare served with mashed potatoes, sautéed vegetables, and finished with a red wine glaze. The entire city is a mecca for a variety of amazing food, wines and locally brewed beers. If you have a chance to get there, Portland is worth the trip.

Portland Rose Garden

Portland's Rose Garden features over 6,800 rose bushes representing 557 varieties of roses. It was late in the day and the light was going down but I was still able to get a few good pictures of the roses. At the end of the garden I found a hydrangea, which was in better shape then the roses this early in the season. Over twenty years ago a friend and I took a trip to Portland and we visited this garden. At 18 you don't always think about slowing down to see the beauty in things. The funny thing is twenty years later walking the same pathways as an adult I kept thinking what in the world was I doing 600 miles away from home with only my same aged partner in crime? I don't suppose I would ever let any of my children go on a 1200 mile round trip to a city as large as Portland without adult supervision. Needless to say the drive, Portland, Vancouver and the surrounding areas were beautiful I just happened to notice this time.

P.S. Mindy...we sure did have fun though didn't we? Remembering that adventure 20 years later gave me pause...thank God we made it home in one piece.

Multnomah Falls

There's nothing more powerful than realizing your life's direction and believing that you can get there by taking consistent, forward moving, almost involuntary actions toward achieving your purpose. To quote Gene Hayden author of The Follow-Though Factor: Getting from Doubt to Done, "Following-through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things". Along the lines of great things...this had to be one of the greatest of all natural wonders that I've ever seen. From the bottom to the top plummeting 611 feet from its origin on Larch Mountain, Multnomah Falls in Oregon is the second highest year-round waterfall in the United States. It was absolutely breathtaking... awe inspiring and of course I loved the legend of the Multhomah Princess. She was said to have jumped from the cliff at the top of the falls to save her people. Whatever our own personal free fall may be we must always remember that we are never walking alone...we are also not granted a life without pain and suffering and sacrifice. May we all have hope in a promise that when we stop working our own plan we can be guided and delivered safely to our destination. I try not to think about whether or not I will ever be asked to jump off a cliff, most days I just wonder which one.

The view from half way up....it was a 700 vertical-foot climb to the top of the falls; about a mile and a quarter each way, mostly over switchbacks.
You could feel the mist of the falls blanketing the path the whole way up

The legend of Multnomah Falls

Many years ago the head chief of the Multnomah people had a beautiful young daughter. She was especially dear to her father because he had lost all his sons in fighting, and he was now a old man. He chose her husband with great care, a young chief from his neighbors, the Clatsop people. To the wedding feast came many people from tribes along the lower Columbia and south of it.

The wedding feast was to last for several days. The whole crowd was merry, for both the maiden and the young warrior were loved by their people.

But without warning the happiness changed to sorrow. A sickness came over the village. Children and young people were the first victims, then strong men became ill and died in only one day. The wailing of the women was heard throughout the Multnomahspan> village and the camps of the guests.

"The Great Spirit is angry with us," the people said to each other. The head chief called together his old men and his warriors for counsel and asked gravely," What can we do to soften the Great Spirits wrath?"

Only silence followed his question. At last one of the old medicine men arose." There is nothing we can do. If it is the will of the Great Spirit that we die, then we must meet our death like brave men. The Multnomah have ever been a brave people."


"I am a very old man, my friends, I have lived a long, long time. Now you will know why. I will tell you a secret my father told me. He was a great medicine man of the Multnomah, many summers and many snows in the past.

When he was an old man, he told me that when I became old, the Great Spirit would send a sickness upon our people. All would die, he said, unless a sacrifice was made to the Great Spirit. Some pure and innocent maiden of the tribe, the daughter of a chief, must willingly give her life for her people. Alone, she must go to a high cliff above Big River and throw herself upon the rocks below. If she does this, the sickness will leave us at once."

Then the old man said,"I have finished, my fathers secret is told. Now I can die in peace."

Not a word was spoken as the medicine man sat down. At last the chief lifted his head. "Let us call in all the maidens whose fathers or grandfathers have been headmen."

Soon a dozen girls stood before him, among them his own loved daughter. The chief told them what the old medicine man had said. "I think his words are words of truth," he added.

Then he turned to his medicine men and his warriors, "Tell our people to meet death bravely. No maiden shall be asked to sacrifice herself. The meeting has ended."

The sickness stayed in the village, and many more people died. The daughter of the head chief sometimes wondered if she should be the one to give her life to the Great Spirit. But she loved the young warrior, she wanted to live.

A few days later she saw the sickness on the face of her lover. Now she knew what she must do. She cooled his hot face, cared for him tenderly, and left a bowl of water by his bedside. Then she slipped away alone, without a word to anyone.

All night and all the next day she followed the trail to the great river. At sunset she reached the edge of a cliff overlooking the water. She stood there in silence for a few moments, looking at the jagged rocks far below. Then she turned her face toward the sky and lifted up her arms. She spoke aloud to the Great Spirit.

"Will you make the sickness pass away if I give you my life? Only love and peace and purity are in my heart. If you will accept me as a sacrifice for my people, let some token hang in the sky. Let me know that my death will not be in vain and that the sickness will quickly pass."

Just then she saw the moon coming up over the trees across the river. It was the token. She closed her eyes and jumped from the cliff.

My view from the top of the falls looking down.

Next morning, all the people who had expected to die that day arose from their beds well and strong. They were full of joy. Once more there was laughter in the village and in the camps of the guest.

Suddenly someone asked, "What caused the sickness to pass away?

Once more the chief called the daughters and granddaughters of the headmen to come before him. This time one was missing.

The young warrior hurried along the trail which leads to Big River. Other people followed. On the rocks below the high cliff they found the girl they all loved.

Then her father prayed to the Great Spirit, "Show us some token that my daughters spirit has been welcomed into the land of the spirits."

Almost at once they heard the sound of water above. All the people looked up to the cliff. To the right of the waterfall a stream of water, silvery white, was coming over the edge of the rock. It broke into floating mist and then fell at their feet. The stream continued to float down in a high and beautiful waterfall.


For many summers the white water has dropped from the cliff into the pool below. Sometimes in winter the spirit of the brave and beautiful maiden comes back to see the waterfall. Dressed in white, she stands among the trees at one side of Multnomah Falls. There she looks upon the place where she made her great sacrifice and thus saved her lover and her people from death.

My Children

I always knew I'd be the mother of many...and by the Grace of God I was honored to birth into this world four of the most outstanding people I've ever known.

My Children. My greatest joy. These individuals who do not belong to me but have been entrusted to my care have brought me more raw and real emotion then I ever knew possible.

Miss Independent...my first born has a strong will and spirit. She has the strength to forge her own way and is destined for greatness. She taught me a great deal about patience, perseverance, humility, and how to love unconditionally.

The Hippie...quite a unique young lady. Her wisdom and faith are an inspiration to me. Her determination and overall persistence for excellence is admirable.

Mamacia...my baby girl. Gentle and generous. I am in awe of her selflessness. She warms my heart with her nurturing nature.

Sonny Boy...what to say about my only son. He is kind and highly perceptive for a young child. He is very smart and so creative. His love and compassion for all things especially animals is worthy of praise.


They are the most interesting and fun bunch to be around. They are witty and wonderfully able to communicate their good sense of humor. They can meld into any group and hold their own.

And there is more...they are not perfect!

Miss Independent has a propensity to say things off the cuff...she has never understood that somethings are better left unsaid.

The Hippie subscribes to avoidance, negotiating and supports the idea of bribery (her bribing us and us falling for it).

Mamacita is known to slam doors and produce a good tantrum.

Sonny Boy is a master manipulator and has the material wares to show for it.

Alas...they are my greatest joy and sometimes my greatest source of frustration as well but there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the opportunity to be their mother. May they always know that my every move has been made so they can live to their fullest potential...may they always remember the simple lessons will be the hardest to learn and get right.


My Children,
When in doubt...go to God, never mind ALWAYS go to God.
Remember you will always have each other.
Do the right thing even when its the harder thing.
Leading is harder than following.
Work hard.
Play Hard.
Be honest, but remember the principle of the pause before you speak.
Respect gets respect.
No one owes you anything.
Go Big or Go Home.
Believe in the best.
Think your best.
Act your best.
Do your best.
And never ever...settle for less then your than your best.
Love,
Your Mother.....aka Madre, Mom, Ma, or Mommy

I got it....

(click picture to enlarge)

I've been wanting the Cannon Rebel for a while now, I was never sure what I'd do with it or if I could ever figure out how to use it...nonetheless I didn't give it much thought I figured The Rebel was a few years out for me...I needed to learn how to fully utilize my cell phone, ipod (itunes), my home computer and some other various household electronics...like the cable box and DVD player. In no way do I lack the intellectual where.with.all to learn the ins and outs of these items and I certainly don't lack the patience...I've just operated on the idea that things come to you with practice. Its all about on.the.job.training for me. :) Just as I was mastering a playlist on my ipod....Surprise...I received The Rebel for Mother's Day...I can't seem to put the thing down... I am taking pictures all the time. Its a lot of fun to capture life with a camera that keeps it real...and its not even really complicated... I have not become and instant photographer over night...but I am shooting all the time. Thanks Rob... for the camera, it has been one of the better gifts you've produced...I was never a real big fan of the bassinet, lawn mower, or big screen TV all purchased as personal gifts for me under the delusion I wanted them. Having read most of the instructional manual for the camera, I may be on a roll...by the end of the week I might even be able to watch a movie without getting help figuring out which remote goes to which component.

It's all Relative

Risk, taking risks….fear, faith and living. I have thought a lot about risk.... my whole life…mostly as an adult but even more as a parent…especially since my children have gotten older. I’ve evaluated risk vs. benefit on many levels. For most of us risk refers to the likelihood of bad outcome from any given situation… For instance, the risk of driving a car too fast is getting a speeding ticket, or worse still, getting into an accident. Webster’s defines risk as danger or hazard. Thus, risk is perceived almost entirely in negative terms. However as I have lived and learned and let my life’s experiences alter my thought process in this area I would argue some risks even dangerous in nature are worth taking because the benefit of the outcome is worth the risk. Anyone who has conquered Mt. Everest would most likely tell you it was well worth the risk. In my opinion when determining what is risky it’s wise to remember….risk is only a concept…a notion that represents an unknown probability of an unknown eventuality and it’s different from person to person. Herein we introduce fear and faith. Unfortunately, fear of outcome is what most people fall back on and usually it will keep them out unknown circumstances that may have been well worth the risk. To keep me from sounding casual or even reckless I also believe that "True fear is a gift. It is a survival signal that sounds only in the presence of real danger.” Yet unwarranted fear with little faith has assumed power over many people. Faith can replace unwarranted fear. Faith is a belief that in the end all is well. Faith does not rely on logical proof or material evidence for certainty or strength. It is with a nicely balanced combination of faith and warranted fear I live my life. I try to avoid unnecessary risks… for me this means risks with no possible good outcome. If there is NO possible good outcome then common sense tells me that I can avoid the risk. Taking risks is a part of how I live and I try not to be debilitated or miss anything because I have become bogged down by lack of faith, fear, statistics or evidence. It has taken me most of my adult life to figure out how to orchestrate a healthy balance. Really, ask my children….It’s a good thing they had their dad when they were little, or not a single one of them would have been allowed to go down a slide alone…I’ve come a long way. I would encourage anyone who is stuck on the path of less resistance to ask "why?" Life really is short....Go For It... do something worth the risk.

First Posted 11/10/09

Deep In Thought

I have been feeling......well, very introspective for the past few months...a little philosophical and in need of meaningful and connected personal interaction. I was telling this to a friend last night.... when I quickly admitted that I might also drop a blue streak of profanities at any minute and yell at a kid too (not so introspective) ...but for the most part...I feel like I am in some kind of contemplative mode. Its a little like when you're doing a puzzle and towards completion the pieces just start to move themselves into place one at a time until you can clearly see the picture. I was thinking yesterday what do I really have to worry about....I'm just gonna go with it... my life that is...and stop spinning in circles... Just watch...I am about to really come alive.

Off to DO JUST ONE THING AT A TIME even if its folding the mountain of clean laundry that sits in the middle of the family room. Gotta get that done before the king of his castle gets home from an out of town business trip.


First Posted 1/22/10

If I Were....

Mamacita and I
April 15, 2010

If I were a Season, I would be Winter.

If I were a day of the week, I would be Tuesday.

If I were a time of day, I would be Midnight.

If I were a planet, I would be Mother Earth.

If I were an animal, I would be a Kodiak Bear.

If I were a direction, I would be UP.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a Footstool.

If I were a liquid, I would be Quenching.

If I were a gemstone, I would be a Diamond (In The Rough).

If I were a tree, I would be a Redwood.

If I were a tool, I would be Handy.

If I were a flower, I would be an Iris.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be a Storm.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be a Harp.

If I were a color, I would be Black.

If I were an emotion, I would be Euphoria.

If I were a fruit, I would be a Peach.

If I were a sound, I would be Gentle.

If I were an element, I would be Oxygen.

If I were a car, I would be Parked.

If I were a food, I would be Locally Grown.

If I were a place, I would be Safe.

If I were a material, I would be Organic.

If I were a taste, I would be Peppermint.

If I were a scent, I would be a New Baby.

If I were an object, I would be a Welcome Mat.

If I were a body part, I would be Open Hands.

If I were a facial expression, I would be Inviting.

If I were a pair of shoes, I would be Comfortable.

What a great Meme. Thanks to Wanderlust, who would smell like rain, taste like crème brulee and feel like silk. After a busy weekend out of town I am playing catching up again and this was a perfect post.

What about you? What would you be?

O Canada

This picture was taken high above

Seattle, Washington a little over three weeks ago.

I flew with The Hippie and Mamacita into Washington state so they could travel from there with friends to wrap up the 2009-2010 ski/snowboard season out of the country.
They chased the snow to Whistler Blackcomb, which is just north of Vancouver,
in British Columbia, Canada.

I elected to stay behind in Washington. (I know right, so unlike me to miss a chance to ski.) Its true, I needed some down time. The weeks ahead of the trip had been quite stressful... and I thought there was no better place to leave my worries but in the hurried streets of a city where no one would notice them and I would not have to bring them home with me.
Sorry Seattle.... she says, with no regret just appreciation.


The Hippie and one of her sidekicks captured hundreds of pictures from their trip.
Here are the highlights.

Crossing the border.

Whistler Blackcomb Ski Resort

This breathtaking mountain is the largest ski resort in North America.

Lucky for them, Whistler had gotten several feet of snow just in time for their arrival.

Mamacita had been ready for weeks for this trip.

The Hippie said life just doesn't get any better than this.

And then I saw these pictures...of the gondola rides they were taking. I wasn't so sure about my babies being suspended from peak to peak like this.

Toto, we're a long way from Kansas up here.
A rare photo op with The Hippie actually posing.

Mamacita "posing"
Sisters having the time of their lives.

Solitude at its very finest.

Enjoying every second.

Taking in the sites

Paying tribute.

Crossing back into Washington.

The girls had a great time. We reunited back in Washington. Had dinner with Mamacita's God Parents who live about an hour from Seattle. We flew back the next day, I am pretty sure I left some of my stress behind because I didn't seem to notice it when we got home...and from the looks of that last picture.....the girls left their get.up.and.go in Canada.
Thanks to everyone who was involved in making this trip happen for the three of us.
We are very appreciative...and hope to see you all again soon.

Letting Go

So....I am coming off what has been an unintentional blogging hiatus to write this evening. I didn't mean to stop writing here...I just did. For a while, life got bigger than me and nothing I wrote was fit for public consumption. I don't have enough time left in this day or potentially in all the days of my life to go into it...and DON'T let your imaginations run wild either... but if you must, just see me on an amazing vacation where when I stepped outside I found absurd amounts of snow...laughing hysterically... because most of you already think I am a wee bit touched, cuckoo, off my rocker because of my love affair with winter and the white stuff. Suffice to say...I am fine over here...I'm just catching my second wind again. I do almost feel like I have stage fright though...more like I'm standing here naked... after wrestling with the idea it would be easier to keep moving in the silent direction... I realized no.can.do. I can't stay quiet for long...I don't think I'll be opening any flood gates just yet, however I really wanted to say hello.

Today...and if only for THE day...all my children... ALL of them... Miss Independent, The Hippie, Mamacita and Sonny were in the same place at the same time...talking, laughing, even joking around....just being together... no angst, no anger, and no animosity. Everything in my world felt right...and that feeling from today has poured over into this evening. I have a calm peace about me that has been absent for many, many days...I guess since Miss Independent moved out and got married. Oh yeah... some of you didn't know my oldest daughter got married a month ago, don't feel bad...her Dad missed it too... it happened so fast, we all nearly missed it.

Its taken me the better part of ALL.MY.LIFE to really understand that things just happen in which I have no control over. The past few weeks have been a challenging reminder that I am not in charge. I've always known this and I have been good to allow my life to simply flow... but every once in a while I get this notion that I am the senior partner...not a humble steward...sort big of me I know... one of the hardest lessons for me is letting go and letting God... isn't it the hardest lesson for most? After weeks of trying to work MY plan I finally acquiesced and I felt the calm and I also wondered TINA.WHAT.TOOK.YOU.SO.LONG? Things happen that I can't do anything about it...nothing will change it...no amount of personal sacrifice can turn the hands of time...no agonizing...no pleading...nothing. Life unfolds and if you're open to it...and if you're willing to acknowledge it... the plan is there and the outcome you ask...its already in motion.

Here's MY visual aid:

I ski.

I've been doing it for years.
I love it.
(Have we covered that here? The part about me loving snow & skiing?)

So, I have ran this exact run a hundred times,
see me over there by the trees?
On April 4, 20o9

I came down that exact line and went from skiing,

to this...

and down the hill in the sled with a broken leg and yes that's really my rescue thanks to Ed. Thanks Ed, I needed these pictures more than you'll ever know.

(Have we cover the broken leg here as well...have I beat that horse dead yet?)

Like many other times in my life I played THAT split second out in my mind, over and over and over. I just kept thinking how did THAT happen? Call me crazy, it just didn't seem plausible that I could get hurt doing something I love so much. (Subliminal message: or get hurt by someone I love so much.) Unfortunately, IT JUST HAPPENED. As a matter of fact, while I laid there waiting for the ski patrol to come get me and confirm that I would not be skiing down the rest of the way... I thanked God the light was low and I was not flying down that run as fast as I usually did... or I might have broken more than just my leg. I could have been all sorts of broken up or worse. When I realized there was nothing I could have done to stop it or change it and this season when I was able to ride over that exact spot that dropped me without fear...I got over it. Even though I didn't have the best come back year ever... God was good to even have me on my skis less then 8 months later. I did ski with a heightened sense of awareness...just a subtle reminder that I was not invincible, but I did ski... a lot.

Things happen that are out of our control and we either move on and move forward or we stay in a strange holding pattern like an airplane above the runway waiting for clearance to land. You can only circle for so long before you run out of fuel... over the years I've gotten closer than most to empty and taxied in on fumes... I'm just not feelin' that anymore. This morning, I was given a surprise gift from Tammy. A silver bracelet with The Serenity Prayer engraved all the way around it. Perfect inscription and perfect timing. Thanks Tammy.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.